


pages of the soul

by imaginedandreal



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Drabble, Drabble Sequence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginedandreal/pseuds/imaginedandreal
Summary: Five times Tessa thinks about Scott in her life with sadness and once she thinks of him with joy.





	pages of the soul

**Author's Note:**

> I needed something quick and not very painful after the hullaballoo of a chapter update on my WIP. My first dabble in drabble (sorry not sorry). Every drabble here has +- 100 words, because I wanted to try my hand at that form. It was like tweeting fanfic, but much more interesting (now that tweets can be like 700 words long lol).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this! Feedback? Pretty please? <3

1) reminiscent

I still remember those times when the morning took you away, returned you into foreign hands without a drop of remorse. I stood silently on the balcony: no thoughtless irony in my mind, no unbearable ‘I love.’

After you remained the scent of wine. And also ‘see you,’ like a knick-knack. Don’t get used to _this_ (you asked me), scattering what was left of those meetings into routines.

Even the heartbreak was manageable, talked over by the ache in my legs. ‘One more night’ stretched out into weeks.

History repeats itself, but with footnotes.

‘We’ll keep in touch.’

_2009; 2018_

 

2) why don’t we?

Why don’t we play at being in love?

Why don’t we put hidden meaning into the embraces that ground us to each other?

Why don’t we lose control, the way an experienced gambler does?

Why don’t we put _everything_ at stake, and then tell each other there was no risk?

Why don’t we be brave in speaking, but fearful in acting?

Why don’t we spend evenings together, drinking the ‘what ifs’ to death?

Why don’t you look me in the eye, while holding her hand?

Why don’t I plan for the future?

Why don’t you ruin all my plans?

_2018_

 

3) puzzles

When we were little, we liked to do puzzles together. Our personalities shone through even then: I’ve grouped the pieces by color, you’d switch from scene to scene restlessly. From a jumbled array, the picture made sense. It was easy. It was fun.

Older, you and I accidentally discovered that we were puzzles for each other to rearrange until we were bright and vivid with gasps and exclamations. It made no sense. It was frustrating. Our puzzles on ice were so simple - hand fits in hand, step follows step - but off? The pieces spilled.

Record time for puzzle solving: 21 years. Counting.

_1997-2018_

 

4) agenda

You will come into the room, and your eyes will light up. You will tell me how beautiful I look, maybe even how the dress makes my eyes go _ka-pow_ , you know, for old time’s sake. I will fuss with your bowtie, but I’ll care about discreetly breathing you in. Our faces will pause at a kiss’s distance, and the alarm bell of one of our laughs will yank us right out of that dream. You’ll take my hand, simply and significantly. We’ll walk out to the world and be proud of each other.

You will let my hand go.

_December 2018_

 

5) let’s dance

Let’s dance whoever we are not on the ice. Let’s be jealous of ourselves, at how effortlessly love and passion comes to those whom we are for work only. Let’s do little happy dances when we reach our mutual goals. Let’s dance through pain. Let’s dance sadness away. Let’s dance in my kitchen together, where not much cooking goes on; slowly, savoring it like the last forkful of cake before a diet. Let’s dance around the elephant in the room. Let’s never talk about who we are, about how we love each other in a multitude of ways. Let’s dance instead.

_2010-2018_

 

6) trinity

It was so unlike me to agree to that. Even my family asked me if I was sure. A peculiar living situation: you, me, and... _her_.

Ten years ago I wouldn’t have imagined it. Now it’s the pinnacle of my joy.

She is the highlight of your day, and that is the highlight of my life. You asked me once if I was jealous of your love for her. I laughed and said I loved her even more than you (especially when you snored).

I gaze at her and understand that she is the ideal outcome of our story.

_2022_

  



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